Friends are Like Safety Nets

People think of friends as folks they grew up with and experienced some of their most cherished moments. Friendship implies a longevity and stability of relationship. I agree with all of that.

I was telling my eldest son a few weeks back that friends are rare. He is in the fifth grade, and social life is everything to him (ha!), so I let him know that of the people I determined were my friends in elementary school, I could maybe find one of them now (I have known Tracey Grasty since kindergarten. We played together, her name appears in one of my personalized books, we were in orchestra together. Then we parted from seventh through twelfth grades and reunited in college. I could email her today). Earlier this month, however, I found a second friend I have known as long, Kenneth, whose house we used to pass every school day with its fabulously big sunflowers saluting the morning. That makes two people I have known since kindergarten.

Then, there are those I lived on the same street with. Two of us are still in contact because my mother lives where we moved when I was months shy of my second birthday--days after Dr. King was killed. Kim grew up about 2 houses away from me, after the Robinsons moved, and I have known her family since before we graduated from high school. Her mom and my grandmother were good friends. Now, her husband makes sure my mom's drive and walk are shoveled.

There are people I went to junior high school with. My friend, Angelina, who fought with me at least twice a month. We went to school with each other every day and stayed on the phone with each other every night. She went to a rival high school (the NERVE of her!) but we reunited in college, also. And she, Tracey and I all joined a club named The Angel Club in Ann Arbor back in 1984. I haven't heard from her in a few years and miss her, terribly.

But there are friends lost and found. My best friend, Christine, who, like Angelina, attended junior high with me, also went to high school with me. We were inseparable, down to performing in the same Reader's Theatre troup and choir. Riding from school together when either of my parents would take them to the bus, or even home. We lost contact when she went to M......... S..... U...... (ugh), but she has seen the light and lives in Ann Arbor now. I have to contact her again because we were both too busy last year.

Then there are those I met in college. Like Carla, who left this earth at 31 without marrying or having children, just like she said she would. Or Yvette, who shared Carla's birthday but is now married and going on with her life. There are the others who were members of The Angel Club (my sisterhood with these ladies is too detailed to try to list here for fear someone will be offended). Or my brothers who were Alphas like Eugene, Byron, Jeff, John Hale, and O. those who pledged the first and best sorority (Alpha Kappa Alpha). Some of them I still contact, others I haven't heard from in years. I have seen Denise, Pat, Aida, Andrea, Lois, Crystal and some of their beaus and husbands, but am missing Daphne, Tina, Sharon, and Yolie (even though we did spin class together before my illness). And Stephanie. She saved my life one evening when I thought it wasn't worth it. I am still looking for Stephanie Moore. I owe her a deal of thanks and want her to meet the sons I wouldn't have had if she had listened to me that evening and didn't read the letter I gave her....

There are sisters that God gave me like Etta, Myra, Veronica and Laura, and we see each other each week.

But, there are people with whom you would be ships in the night until they are transformed into something else.

Katrina is like that. We went to class together back in 2006. She was nice, intelligent and funny. And I didn't see her again until January 2008 when we were in class together, again. She became more of a cohort at that time and we began to share intellectually. I helped her out with something and we helped each other get through that class.

But, now, today, I found out that Katrina is a friend. I knew it on a basic, casual level, but now, now it is organic. She talked to me--ministered to me--over the phone today and helped allay some of my fears. And it isn't just for that reason that she is a friend. She was a friend all the time, but needed to be discovered.

That is how friends resemble safety nets--sometimes you don't see them until you fall.