Learning from the "Other" Relatives

What I am about to say is common sense: when you get married, two families come together.

I have been married for more than a decade and, although marriage is old hat to me, lessons learned from raising children and rediscovering each other are always new.

Many of these lessons are learned at weddings and showers, and some are learned at funerals.

Today we attended the funeral of my husband's aunt. He and I were raised very differently, and, I enjoy those differences most of the time. Our family was comprised of many mid-sized and small families--often one to three children, sometimes there was the family with four or five.

On his side of the family, there are many families as well, but most have five, six or seven children. Whew, I say to myself...

And most of his cousins are ministers. Or singers. Or both. That makes for an interesting service.

But one thing I learned from the other side of the family was that I am not alone with my parenting challenges and that there is hope for me to come out of them successfully. I found out that you can get order outs of chaos, that there are other people out there who have been through college and have advanced degrees, and others out there that profess a love for God.

These are not brand new revelations that I got today at the funeral, but I was just able to see it in these people who have come, most from Ohio, to say good-bye to a family matriarch. I learned that one is never too old to learn and that this aunt received her bachelor's degree at the age of 70!

I should have taken my children to the funeral, but they would have had too many questions during the service. Afterwards, they would have been snapped up by well-meaning relatives who want to know the generation that will carry family names and legacies.

It is time to introduce my children to both sides of their family and the great heritage both sides contain.

Merchandising off of Emotion

Why, why, why does it always come to this? Why is money more important than anything to some people?

With the intensity and options cable/satellite/escape TV brings, I find myself watching less and less local news. So, unfortunately, I have begun listening to the radio in order to stay connected to my local roots. Why did they have a story on this morning about a so-called minister who duped a group of children from a local Detroit school into believing he could get them front row tickets to the inauguration and several music gigs (this is a school music group, I believe) as well?

I didn't see it on the local news and I only heard the portion of the report that played, but the major thing today was, "things have to change."

Duh. I mean, we knew that, right? Things have to change. Change we can believe in. Etc.

At issue, the hostess reminded the callers, was who bears the responsibility for checking out this fiasco. Basically, how did it get this far? Callers blamed the school, the duplicitous preacher, the children, but only a few redirected the blame or accountability, if you will, back to the parents.

I am not a poster child for parent of the year. And this situation made me think: would I be gullible enough to listen and kow tow to the pressure of my ten year old or five year olds to do something that seemed ill-advised all in the name of keeping up with the Joneses? Staying current? Being relevant?

I would like to think that I wouldn't. How many times, though, does the child bring a slip of paper (goldenrod is the main color for K-2, it seems) and there isn't enough time taken to read it thoroughly? Or the response is due on Monday and your child throws it at you in the parking lot of the school while there are six cars waiting behind you and whines, "hurry, mom! I need it NOW!"

I would like to think that following up on my child's school activities is more important to me than a business meeting, a conference call, a rendez-vous at Starbucks, or even an additional 15 minutes of sleep in the morning.

I hope I pass the test when it is my turn to take it.

What is great about living in this time

As I was sitting with my boys and family during this week's inaguration activities, I realized what is great about being alive right now.

So many things have changed, even in the last ten years, that make life better, easier and happier. Children don't have to be remote controls, television is on 24 hours a day with more channels, the radio isn't the only thing you can listen to in the car, portable music is more discrete, pay phones are becoming obsolete (germ farms!), and color is fading.

Although I tend to be more conservative than liberal in my thinking and practice, I am happy for President Barack Obama and his team. I didn't have to vote for a black man in this election, I could vote for the person I thought was better for the job.

Now I don't agree 100% with him on everything--I don't agree with anyone that much--but I respect the way he conducted the transition and is beginning this term. I, too, like vigorous debate and refuse to inhabit the place of the 'yes' person, so, for me, engaging rivals is like daily living.

I am praying for his success and the restoration of some basic decency and transparency to American government.

What a great time to be alive!

Hmmm, what am I thinking about right now...?

Ok, so I have been following my college acquaintance, Angela, and her family blog on http://www.graymattersonline.net/ for more than 2 years now. My professor has assigned a blog for my graduate class in film and new media. Additionally, I am renewing my writing projects and resurrecting pages and pages of what seems like ancient writings.

So, I guess I will add a personal blog to my list of things to do.

Traditionally, I resist public displays--not only of affection, but of almost anything. I am especially particular about personal representation and how it is more of an oxymoron because one can't represent oneself alone--you are always an agent for someone or something else. So, I resisted blogging (and even publishing some of my writings) because I don't want it to be tied in to my family, or my church, or, especially at the time, my job. This will be an interesting challenge for me, but I believe it will enhance my writing and keep my thoughts more focused and productive.

This blog is about my thoughts. My ramblings and ruminations, revelations and repetitions will likely appear here--when I remember to share.