Learning from the "Other" Relatives

What I am about to say is common sense: when you get married, two families come together.

I have been married for more than a decade and, although marriage is old hat to me, lessons learned from raising children and rediscovering each other are always new.

Many of these lessons are learned at weddings and showers, and some are learned at funerals.

Today we attended the funeral of my husband's aunt. He and I were raised very differently, and, I enjoy those differences most of the time. Our family was comprised of many mid-sized and small families--often one to three children, sometimes there was the family with four or five.

On his side of the family, there are many families as well, but most have five, six or seven children. Whew, I say to myself...

And most of his cousins are ministers. Or singers. Or both. That makes for an interesting service.

But one thing I learned from the other side of the family was that I am not alone with my parenting challenges and that there is hope for me to come out of them successfully. I found out that you can get order outs of chaos, that there are other people out there who have been through college and have advanced degrees, and others out there that profess a love for God.

These are not brand new revelations that I got today at the funeral, but I was just able to see it in these people who have come, most from Ohio, to say good-bye to a family matriarch. I learned that one is never too old to learn and that this aunt received her bachelor's degree at the age of 70!

I should have taken my children to the funeral, but they would have had too many questions during the service. Afterwards, they would have been snapped up by well-meaning relatives who want to know the generation that will carry family names and legacies.

It is time to introduce my children to both sides of their family and the great heritage both sides contain.